THE POWER OF ONE WORD, TWO LETTERS… NO
Have you ever been told “NO”, with no explanation and it left you bewildered, emotionally bankrupt, angry, defiant… broken? How did you react to that short, small but powerful two letter word? Were you able to accept it and move on with no residual affect or did you react or internalize the effect of that short 2 letter word?
Several years ago in 2007, I stood before some really cool ladies and spoke to them on the subject; The Power of NO. In my quest for growth in life and making a difference in women’s lives, I had to revisit why I was wired the way I was; why I never drank anything while eating any meal; why I never asked God for anything when I prayed; why I never expected more for myself; why I was surprised or amazed when I made an accomplishment. Why couldn’t I wrap my head around the fact that I mattered? The answer to why “No” was in me and the answer “Yes” to every NO was in me as well.
Here is a personal story I wrote that I had to give as a speech for certification as a Team member in the John Maxwell organization in March 2017.… here goes.
As a teenager in the early 70’s, the essence of ME began to emerge. I began to analyze this thing called life and my consciousness began to awaken to things that interested me… Things that I was taught was SIN.
THE POWER OF NO RENDERED ME WITHOUT A DREAM, ABSOLUTELY NO ESTEEM OR VALIDATION OF SELF, BELIEVING A LIE THAT I WASN’T, WOULDN’T BE, NEVER COULD, NEVER WOULD, UGLY, IGNORANT, DUMB… THESE WERE A FEW THINGS SPOKEN TO ME BY PEOPLE OF AUTHORITY… and I BELIEVE IT!
THE POWER OF NO RENDERED ME WITHOUT A DREAM, ABSOLUTELY NO ESTEEM OR VALIDATION OF SELF, BELIEVING A LIE THAT I WASN’T, WOULDN’T BE, NEVER COULD, NEVER WOULD, UGLY, IGNORANT, DUMB…THESE WERE A FEW THINGS SPOKEN TO ME BY PEOPLE OF AUTHORITY… and I BELIEVED IT!
I was muzzled with shut up… I had no voice.
No was the answer to all things. And I mean everything. No…no… no… no!!!!
I heard the word no so much that it became a part of my being. That word was etched deep within my psyche.
I learned to take no for an answer with mastery; so much so, I never asked because I had learned that no was always the answer. I didn’t even try.
I dared not dream or aspire for greater. Success was not in my purview. This was my norm. I only remember having one dream… to be a mother and a wife.
From the age of 19 when I moved to St. Louis, MO, I instinctively poured into the lives of teenagers at the church I attended. I told them they could do anything they aspired to do. I taught them the song… I am a promise, I am a possibility… I was always a refuge and a safe place for them. I affirmed them with affirmations I should have been giving myself. I was selfless and in spite of the no’s in my life, surprisingly, I wasn’t bitter; I was loving and nurturing.
How was it, I was able to pour into those young people when I did not believe it for myself…because when I was alone… I was depressed… I was broken.
No was so deeply rooted that even when I had defied no… I did not recognize I’d won. I was unable to embrace the victory of independently releasing 5 sound recordings, starting a nonprofit Women’s Empowerment Organization and so many other wins I was not in the moments to absorb and celebrate.
In spite of the many, many NO’s… AND LOSSES, still, I persevered.
Over time, I learned that I had the one thing that counteracted every “no” in my life!
Faith!… With faith all things are possible… faith turns impossible into I’m possible!
After two devastating “no’s”, divorce after 24 years of marriage and the loss of my 22 year old miracle daughter; oh… and God saying NO to my suicide attempt, I knew I had to take inventory. This was the awakening… necessary evils that caused me to Defy Limits and overcome. At 46 I began to defy NO, consciously.
It took a long time for me to change my stinking thinking about myself, but I did it! I chose life! I began to look in the mirror and say… and God said, THAT’S GOOD.
Well, I revisited the power of no… the exceedingly small, BIG word that packs a tremendous weight of power. In August of 2016 I, once again said YES to myself, however this time the YES was packing much more Power than any of the no’s I had encountered in life. This time I said YES… I am going to invest in me!
In August of 2016, at age 58, I was in search for a highly reputable program to attain certification as a coach. I didn’t have the resources to pay however there was an insatiable fire in my belly and thirst for growth so I could be a better leader and help the ladies I was serving in my organization. I had a will to win; I stepped out on nothing…again and said, “I’m going to INVEST into myself… I found a way to sign up to be a John Maxwell Team Member. It costed a lot, but I believed in me and that I was worth it. At the age of 59 I received my certification. I am now 63 years old, and I have allowed myself to pour into myself and go on yet another venture, expanding my reach. As a proud member of the John Maxwell Team as a Coach, Speaker and Trainer and the author of my own content and programs to continue my purpose of ADDING VALUE to others, I have determined that it’s not too late to Rock My Moxie.
I am a master of taking no for an answer however it will never rule my life anymore. I share my story to say this…
If you think you are too old, made too many mistakes, missed your timing, if you say “I am not good enough, or I don’t know how, I implore you to think again. Say YES to You!!!
NO really is a powerful word for good and for bad. For me… when NO is not an option, I flip the script, make no look in the mirror, see itself spelled backward and make it say, “IT’S ON!”
The Sky is not the Limit… DEFY LIMITS!!!
Don’t settle for less than you deserve! Love your life, live your dreams, leave a legacy. Eneazer offers private coaching for individuals and organizations in Growth, in Leadership, and Life. A whole new world opens up to you once you realize that NO is just the beginning of a new opportunity to Defy Limits! For her FREE eBook, L.I.F.T., Four Principles to Lift Your Lid and Defy Limits, or to sign up for a Complimentary Lunch and Learn, visit: www.Eneazer.com. Check out her Speaker, Coaching, and Masterclass programs, here: https://eneazer.com/services/